Today is the big day. I go in with my new trainer for a weigh-in. Now, the funny thing is that I stand on my scale daily; sometimes 3-4 times a day. After I drink water, after I urinate, after I ... well - uh know -- after every possible thing to determine if it make a difference.
Obsessed? Call it what you want, it's where I am living now. It cracks me up sometimes because I think back to being nearly 350lbs. and NEVER EVER getting on the scale. There was never a wonder or care, or at least not one that I would listen to. Now, the voices seem to SCREAM pay attention to the weight.
hmmm...
According to Dictionary.com (http://www.dictionary.com) weight is defined as:
1. the amount or quantity of heaviness or mass; amount a thing weighs.
2.Physics. the force that gravitation exerts upon a body, equal to the mass of the body times the local acceleration of gravity: commonly taken, in a region of constant gravitational acceleration, as a measure of mass.
3.a system of units for expressing heaviness or mass: avoirdupois weight.
4.a unit of heaviness or mass: The pound is a common weight in English-speaking countries.
5.a body of determinate mass, as of metal, for using on a balance or scale in weighing objects, substances, etc.
What the (**#%$%^*#?!!!
So you get any of that?
There's one definition toward the middle that brought a bit of revelation my way.
a mental or moral burden, as of care, sorrow, or responsibility
AND
importance, moment, consequence, or effective influence
It made me think back to where my weight or if I use this definition, where did my SORROW begin? Where did my burden, care or even better -- at what important moment in my life did I create a series of choices that generated an invitation for WEIGHT?
My hands are shaking as I type this message. My eyes are leaking with tears and my heart... POUNDING!!
I spend my life helping people create breakthrough. I set up systems and create clarity so that they can own their power and fulfill their dreams and yet, here I am feeling like a failure, DROWNING in the SORROW & RESPONSIBLITY of my weight.
Insert pause for snot wiping and tear shedding.
I'm back. One of my mentors, Sandra Steen taught me years ago that a true sign of intelligence is not to know everything but to know where to go and get it. WHEW!!
I believe that often I've stopped myself in life because I didn't have all the answers. I know that I have. I’ve felt alone, saddened or even guilty that in all of my infinite wisdom, I did not have the fix!! Can you identify with that?
One of the primary reasons that I even decided to engage in this journey was to bring you into the conversation with me... negative chatter and all. Today, I chose to write this blog prior to my meeting with Sonya Roemisch, Owner of You-nique Physique Personal Training Studios here in San Antonio , TX
Sonya was my very 1st weight trainer and she coached me to a remarkable 165lb. weight release. Now, 4 years later we are addressing a 50lb. weight gain and she's helping me to be ok with where I am, acknowledge the places where I lost balance and create a realistic plan and system for life-long success. Will it work?
Only if I choose to say YES!
What I love about sharing with each of you is that you write me with your personal and intimate stories. You are virtual friends but yet you feel real, like we are enjoying a cup of coffee together. Thank you.
Thank you for allowing me a safe-space to be open, vulnerable and real. I am enjoying the healing process INSIDE of community. It really takes a village to advance in any area of our lives.
Another mentor of mine shares this, “Isolation is the fertile ground of insanity!” Yes, if you choose to be alone in your journey, what profits will it yield you other than deranged thinking, flailing results and judgment that keeps you stuck.
I want to hear YOUR story... BLOG NOW!!
Allyson
PS - I promise to share how the weigh-in goes. Let's see if Sonya yells like Jillian on "Biggest Loser"?! AAAAHHH!!
Discover More: Sonya Roemisch is the Owner and Creator of You-nique Physique and specializes in weight training and nutrition. While she is based in San Antonio , TX., she supports clients all over North America through virtual fitness coaching ((http://www.youniquephysique.net). If you are looking for natural preventative and proactive solutions to promote and maintain wellness, they now carry a full line of the Transformation Wellness Products that will assist your body to get the nutrients it needs, clear the waste and allow your body to manage its resources. www.transformationenzymes.com. Create a lifestyle change and contact Sonya NOW!!
Ally...I am confident that you will! You are a beautiful expression of who God is...and powerful beyond measure. I do not mean to sound deep and wonderful...but I truly believe in you. If it is something to be done, I know that you will find the way...I am watching you, my little sistah!
ReplyDeleteThank you for inviting me to your blog, Allyson! I appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteWell, now you are so bold and I have noticed on Facebook that you are a natural leader and what you have done hear is all about your leadership.
Leaders are never perfect. Leaders are honest and first look at themselves before they try and change the environment around them.
It is a funny thing, I can tell you stories about me and money, me and coaching, me and practicing law and I can dish out all the gory details but when it comes to my weight, I cannot get public about it.
I want to shed the excess and I want to be free of it as an emotional weight just like you discussed. However, ..... Really, there is no excuse!
I am going to let you lead me on this one.
I commend your courage and openness.
Congratulations girl!
Hey Allyson, My family has been working on change since January! We have seen the changes, but want to see more! Sometimes you do feel alone in the struggle and gain a why me mentality. I see others who have no weight issue and cringe at times. But this is about me. I will shed the excess this year I've gone down 3 pants sizes, but fall of often stayin within 5lbs of my weight loss. I have a ways to go so I'm with you! Let's go!!!1
ReplyDeleteAllyson...I am sitting here reading your blog (before our 1st session today) and it brings me back to that day when we first met and you ask me "Do you think you can help me?"
ReplyDeleteWow!! How far you have come since that day.
Now four years later....we are at a new level of beginning. It's the search for balance! Its so amazing to me how important that word BALANCE is in long term success with weight loss or anything for that matter.
My Balance Pie for Successful Weightloss is:(*Note, Success means Life Time)
*Exercise(Resistance and Cardio)
*Nutrition (Proper Eating and Internal Nutrition)
*Proper Rest, Relaxation and Sleep
*Emotional Wellness
I truly believe that you must have all the pieces of the pie in balance to reach lifetime success.
I tell you this because I am a living example!! I wasn't born with a dumbbell in my hand and a six pack abs!! I too have had to take myself through this journey. I am at a point where I have never felt so balanced!! I don't workout every second I can. I eat dessert or Pizza occassionally and dont give myself a guilt trip or try to workout to work it off (or the worst try to get it out...if you know what I mean). I exercise because it makes me feel good, gives me engergy and is empowering as well. I eat well because I want to and I feel good!! I take my vitamins and enzymes because it makes my body healthy, energtic and balanced inside. I wake up everyday and make it my mission to "Aspire To Greatness" my own moto and quote. It's amazing how free you feel when you are BALANCED!!
I am so excited to take on this new journey with you and Guide you to a place of BALANCE!! See you soon!!
Aspire Greatness Always,
Sonya
Allyson, Thank you for inviting me to your blog. This is a great journey and it is even better that you are sharing it with the World so that others who see, read and listen to you can be inspired. My pastor explained that successs is influencing others with the investment of your personality. So to me, using your experience is success - you will influence many in your journey, some who had given up hope, some who were in denial and are trying to ignore their weight even if it is costing them their health, some who just had a little to loose but see you loose 50 pounds and decide their 20, or 10 pounds are possible....bottomline you are influencing others with your effort, which is really the responsibility all of us believers have - to be useful and bear fruit in the Kingdom of God. Catherine Kary-Gathuka from Conscious Living 365
ReplyDeleteSo, tears have been spilling down my face since I started reading each of your comments. Thank you for saying yes to the journey. The reason I made this a public process was to borrow your faith on the days when mine grows stale. Know and trust that you can knock on my door when you have a need as well.
ReplyDeleteLet's grow and triumph together!!